Wednesday, August 17, 2011

WTF is Project Runway and Can I Have More Yarn Please?

I have been hard at work earning Homo Points since my last post.  Unfortunately, my points were lost when the subject of Project Runway began over on Ravelry  Actually, I see it as my points were dashed upon the rocky coast of a universe out to have a good laugh at my expense.
To make a long story even longer, I actually confessed that I didn't know of Project Runway or of the people who star in it.
In reality, I knew what I was getting into.  Even as I hit the return button to send my post off to be critiqued by the world, I knew my true Mo friends would be shaking their heads in disbelief and sadness as they read my declaration of Project Runway ignorance.
There was much chatter over this, what can only be described as tragedy, and, in the conversations that ensued, I discovered that it is the show to know if you are excellent Mo. (Okay...check that out, that last sentence rhymed!)
Not being an excellent Mo or even a Mo in the know, I sat down at the computer and tried to do a little research on the topic.  It must be an insanely popular show because it appears to have been around for nine seasons.  Now, there may be more but the biggest number I saw was nine; so, no taking away points if I'm wrong.  Anyway, I clicked on the MyLifetime link and proceeded to watch an episode.  About 30 seconds into the "what happened on last week's episode" supernatural forces conspired against me and locked up my laptop.  Now, usually, I wouldn't assign great significance to this event but it was such a bad lock up that I had to reboot twice.  Obviously, someone/thing is out to stop my Homo education.  So, after rebooting and sifting through information about this show, I'm going to blame this woman, Heidi Klum, for the evils perpetrated upon me.

Before my research,  I had no idea who she is or what she has done, but she seems to be the reigning queen of Project Runway.  Now here, I can be a good Mo.  I'm looking at that outfit on the right and thinking, "Honey, please, you're hurting my eyes.  With taste like that a visit to Dairy Queen must be an evening on the town!"

SHHHH!!!  DON'T tell anyone but my research not only revealed that she wears scary clothes but she also had huge, giant tits added onto her front as fashion accessories.  I'm not lying; check out the before and after pictures:
KAZOOMBAS!!!!  Grab onto those puppies in an earth quake because they aren't moving!  Apparently, to be a frightening fashionista, you need super boobs.

Anyway, I digress.  After reading up on Project Runway, I have discovered that it is the American Idol of fashion designers.  A giant reality show of people trying to become the next Queen of Fashion (I use Queen because all of the dudes are SUPER flaming.  No mater who wins, male or female, there will only be a queen).

I'm sure you can guess that this reality show does nothing for me.  You can also guess that deep down, somewhere, I should have some little warm spot for fashion and fashion designing as I am a Mo.  Well, you're guessing wrong.  I don't!  It's no where in me.  Trust me, I've looked!

Now I know someone is going to say that I'm picking on fashion designers but I'm not.  I don't dislike fashion designers.  I actually appreciate them and the work they do.  I just don't want to watch a TV show about them.  Especially when I can watch football.....Ughhh....F*&k, there I go again, more Homo Points down the tubes.  See, even where there is TV to watch, I'm outta luck. 

However, all of this designing talk has made me realize that my quest has not been totally thwarted.  In fact, I'm the designer.  First up is a nice little design contest sponsored by Skacel using only one hank of their Simplicity Hikoo yarn.  Of course, one hank isn't much and I found myself feeling a little like Oliver Twist..."May I have some more please?"

Well, just like poor Oliver, I'm not getting anymore gruel or yarn.  Never to back down from a challenge,  I came up with a pretty neat design.  I would show you but, since the contest hasn't happened yet, if you saw it I would have to eliminate you by using a paper clip (Jason Bourne and I are tight).

Wait, I can see the worry on your face.  I implore you not to fret as I do have a wee bit of other designing to share.  Remember that little bit of lace edging that I showed last post?  Well, I have been playing with it and I'm thinking that it will make a nice shawl.  Here is my latest test knit, lovingly held in place by my partner Jeff (yes, I know he spells his name the wrong way but don't tell him).  It's a bit hard to see with this yarn but the acorn and leaf pattern works well.

The pattern in not too complicated but it does take concentration as there is something new happening on the knit and purl rows. I mean on every row.  I usually like to listen to books when I'm knitting but this pattern as put a halt to that.  I either lose track of the knitting or the book.

So, as you can see, I haven't given up on using my designing to earn Homo Points.  I think that when I finish this shawl, I should be well on my way to earning my Silver Gay Card!


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  2. I'm a designer...I know you know that, we've chatted a bit on men who knit. I tell you, I can't deal with that ridiculous show...I've watched a few seasons and I have to say, it bears no resemblance to the actual industry. Many, MANY people have asked me why I am not on the show. My response...I want a career in fashion...not TV. And don't you be afraid of losing homo points to football....I'm big ol' MO and I like hockey. I'm from genetically, I am required to like football. Rock on man!

  3. Don't despair. I am a female person and I can't watch that show. And those boobs... Maybe I can rent a pair they are somethin.