Fiber vs Gym

The weather here in Portland has been absolutely amazing.  Of course, this is why we put up the wet winters.  Currently, we are having perfect blue skies with temperatures in the upper 70s and a lovely breeze coming in off the Pacific.  I mean really, this is one of the most beautiful places to live.

While I did not take this photo, this is exactly what it is like now.  Isn't Mt. St. Helens pretty? I consider this to be our volcano and not Washington's.  They can have Mt. Rainier but St. Helens is ours.  Anyway, it's during these beautiful times that the universe likes to poke a little fun at you.

This is what the has been put in front of me to shake up my day.

They look sweet don't they.  Look at them, all smiles and such.  You can almost see them going home and baking you cookies can't you.   Don't Buy Into It!  Trust me; little, old ladies at the gym are a whole different type of creature.  Really, I'm just as surprised as you but I wouldn't lie about this.  I would have never thought them to be so awful but I have witnessed it first hand.  Here, let me try to explain.

I have been a very good boy in that I have made it to the gym each day of summer break.  Not just going there and hanging out, I mean actually going there and working out, sweating, panting.  Yup, I'm buffing up.  Anyway, this past week, I was starting off my workout with pushups.  I love pushups.  Seriously, they are such a great exercise and you feel so manly after doing a bunch of them.  I especially love it when some other guy thinks he can do them better than me and then poops out after ten.  Oops, digressing again.  Stay on topic...Stay on topic...  So, at my gym there is a big open area where people stretch, do pushups, situps, etc.  That's where I'm at and I'm on about pushup 12 or so when the old ladies next to me start talking VERY loudly about their dermatological issues.  It went something like this.
"You know those skin flaps that you get?  You know, the kind that bleed when you scratch them off."
"Oh, yeah.  They are called skin tags."
"Yeah, that's it.  Well, I have them on the inside of my thighs.  But these don't scratch off."
"Maybe you should see your doctor."
"Yeah."
"Remember that time that I had all those warts on my foot.  It was so amazing when they got rid of the big one on my heel, all the baby ones went away."

I hope you didn't just throw up in your mouth like I did.  It was far worse than what I wrote here because it went on and on.  Who knew that you could have so many gross things go wrong with your skin.  Now, imagine that you are trying to be a good, healthy person exercising up a storm and you have to listen to that.  Really, doing pushups while retching is not pleasant nor is it a skill that I would like to hone for later use in life.  Also, I don't see it as something that would increase my earning potential.  ACK!

At this point, you have to agree with me that only universe, with a sense of humour,  would put cute grandmas in my midst, the kind that might be enamoured with my knitting skills, and have them turn out to be sadistic, hags out to make decent people vomit whilst exercising.  Seriously, this is the kind of stuff that an older sibling does to the younger ones.  I guess the one silver lining here is that the conversation didn't end up with them discussing their gynecological problems.  Shudder!

Well, after that horrifying event, I had to go home and work on some sort of fiber related task.  It's just amazing how spinning wool into yarn can calm a grown man's stomach. 

As I remember from my last post, I promised to show some knitting fun.  While several of my projects are still very secret, this one is not.

This is my latest sweater fun.  Ain't it Purty?  I'm really getting into stranded/fair isle knitting and especially sweaters.  This was done all in one piece.  There is not one of those EVIL seams in this bad boy.  God, I hate piece work and seaming.  Knitting is NOT tailoring!  Oops....sorry, soapbox slipped in there.

 

It is bottom up construction knit in the round.  It has gussets under the arms.  You can see the gusset pattern here.  It doesn't stand out as well as I would like but it's still pretty cool.

Of course, with stranded knitting you need steeks!  I love steeks.  I really don't see what people have against them.  They are one of the most useful knitting techniques around.   So don't be afraid world, steek away!!!

 

 

I joined the front and back with a shoulder strap knit at a right angle to the body.  I have done this on all of my sweaters to date.  I really like the look, kinda sexy.  The shoulder strap pattern was continued down the arm adding even more sexiness.  Yes, I tingle all over when I think about sexy knitting.

 

Since the sleeves are worked from the shoulder down, I hid the sleeve decreases in the contrasting colour for a bit of subtle sexiness....

 ...and then topped it all off with a nifty pattern in the cuff and collar.

I'm very happy with the way this guy turned out.  I'm actually writing up the pattern and should have it out in a few days. 

Well, that's about it for this post.  Jeff's birthday is tomorrow and I have a ton of things planned.  Should be a lot of fun.  I'll give you a little preview.  I'm baking him lemon blueberry sweet rolls in the morning.  I just finished the dough and it's resting in the fridge. 

Until next time.

The 4th of Fun and Fiber

Well, the Fourth of July has come and gone.  It's actually not one of my favourite  holidays.  However, we have FAB neighbours and we do almost all of our holidays together, including the Fourth.

As usual, we all got together for a big meal.  My responsibility was the procurement of burgers and baked beans.  Notice that I said "my responsibility." My partner Jeff doesn't like to be bothered with such things.  However, to his credit he always will help if I need it.

Anyway, coming from a southern family, I learned that when you cook, you don't cook for a few, you cook for many.  Now I'm deadly serious here.  In my family, you make food in batches large enough to feed all of Christ's soldiers and then have enough left overs for the Second Coming.

For example, my Aunt Mimi's, (pronounced Mem-ee, it's a Louisiana thing) gumbo recipe calls for a bunch of celery.  Now, in a normal world, you would think that this would mean a few of these, maybe four or five.

 

Not in our family.  When we say add a bunch of celery we mean one of these.

That's right!  You add the whole damn thing including the leaves.  Oh, and it also calls for 14 cups of stock.  Seriously, how can you possibly show your face at a Knights of Columbus dinner with a dish that only serves six.  You'll be lucky if they let you in the door on bingo night.

Anyway, this is the approach that I also use in cooking.  I can't help it.  Here is the Vat O'Beans that debuted on the 4th.

Of course, in the greatest tradition of Southern Cooking, I made these beans with this.

That's right baby, BACON.  Render the fat from these bad boys first, then saute your onion in the drippings.  YUM.  The bacon is then placed on top of the beans when you put them in the oven.  This particular batch used almost a pound of thick cut bacon and filled an 9"x15" baking dish.  Yes, I actually own a baking dish that big.  It's also 3" tall.  I love this dish.  Seriously.

I also thought I would try my hand at some of these.

Our neighbours LOVE deviled eggs.  Which is great, because we love them too.  Actually, I think that they are a total pain in the butt to put together.  However, being a good mo, I thought I would step out of the norm and do something a little different.  I dyed the eggs in beet juice and kicked up the filling by adding wasabi.  Then, the finishing touch was to add a sprinkle of hot, smoked paprika.  I'm calling them Red Devil Deviled Eggs.  They were the bomb.

So, what was Jeff doing while I was busy in the kitchen?  Why, he was enjoying his Holiday.  See....

Yup there he is relaxing with our two show girls.  The one on the couch is Libby and the one on the floor is Goldie.  They have REALLY big hair, poor things.  However, you know what they say, "The taller the hair, the closer to God."  My girls are pretty tight with the G dude thanks to that big hair.

The 4th wasn't all cooking and watching my partner relax; it also had a good amount of fiber fun thrown in.

I'm still working on those three fleeces of mine.  So, I decided it was time to do some combing while the beans baked.  Here is the Tub O'Wool before I started.

It was a beautiful day here; so, I decided to comb the wool outside on my deck.  Here I have the comb all loaded up.

Looks kinda nasty doesn't it.  Oh, and sorry for the white trash bit with my rugs hanging on the railing in the background.  Really, I don't leave rugs out in my yard.  I was truly just airing them out that day.

Here is the wool after the first pass with the comb.

Second pass...

Third pass...

Pulling it into roving...

Okay, now this is really white trash.  I am actually using the top to a milk jug for a diz.   It's actually the best one that I have.  I almost cried when I thought I had lost it.

And, here it is all ready for the spinning wheel.

Here is my afternoon's take.

Oh, please note that the rugs are no longer there.  I think they got moved in early because Jeff woke up, saw them and made disparaging comments about living in a trailer court.

Now, on the left are all the nasty bits that you get after you comb your wool.  Most people throw this away.  I'm too cheap to do that.  Plus it seems to be such a waste.  I actually go back and spin the nasty bits.

Here is a hank of some merino spun up from the nasty parts.

It's a bit nubby and bumpy but it's super soft.  I got three hanks of the stuff.  When I finish with that fleece, I might have enough of the nasty bits yarn to make a blanket.  I kinda like that "Nasty Bits Yarn."  Sounds scandalous, just the thing to have my mother call to remind me to go to confession.  What is it with Catholic moms and confession?  Oops, ignore me.  I'm digressing into the tortures of my Catholic childhood.

Oh, and here is the Tub O'Wool after all that combing.

 See, I made lots of progress, right?  Sigh....

Well, I'm thinking it's time for me to hit the gym.  I'm almost done with pattern writing; so, I'll definitely have some knitting to show next time.

Not only a Loser Mo but also a Loser Blogger.

Well, it does seem like it has been for ever since I have chronicled my knitting adventures.  However, I really do have a good excuse.  The excuse is this; last school year was a awful.  I don't want to get into all of the icky stuff, but the short version is that my school district cut 395 teaching positions.  This raised my student load to 267.  I actually had a class of 56 seventh graders.  Okay, I may be exaggerating just a bit.  It was actually 53.  I had three of them move during the year.  So, maybe I'm a whiner.  You know, I just want to say again that I had 53 seventh graders.  Maybe I'm not a whiner but really a saint, Saint Geoff.  Only a saint would be able to teach that many seventh graders all year without killing them or him/herself or possibly both.

Enough of that, the school has been put to bed and I'm on BREAK!  Yeah!!!

Actually, a lot has happened since June 14.  This was my last day of work from the Year From Hell (you know, in my brain, when I just typed that, it was a loud, booming voice that echoed).  On that same day, my mother arrived for my nephew's graduation from college.  My sister was already here along with her partner, Keith.  In a way, it was like going from one Hell to another Hell (hmmm, still got that booming, echoing thing in the brain going on).

Here is a lovely picture of my nephew and a not ,so lovely picture of me and my partner, Jeff.  Doesn't my arm look all weird and bent.  What's up with that?  It kinda looks like I'm getting ready to take off.

Alex (I call him goober)  worked very, very hard and earned a B.S. in Electrical Engineering and he is making a shit-ton of money at the age of 24.  This is good, because as I age, I want him to invest in retirement property that I can live in for him.  I'm hoping he will buy one somewhere in Scotland.  However, he could twist my arm into caring for a home in Italy, France, Sweden or Spain.  It would be rough but I think I could manage. 

My mom actually had a really good time.  I have to say that I got a bit sad when she left.  I walked into the guest room and it still smelled like her.  My mom doesn't wear perfume but she has stuck with the same soap, lotion and shampoo for years.  They all add up to mom smell and it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Well, the family is once again spread out across the country and Jeff and I are at home with our herd of poodles.  Oh, one fun thing that happened during the family visit/graduation was that four of our girls went into season, at the same time.  Dealing with one is bad enough but four put me over the edge.  OMG!  They were humping each other constantly.  I finally just put them out in the yard and let them hump each other to exhaustion.  Hell, I was exhausted just watching it.

Jeff, of course wanted to breed one of them and, of course, I caved and said okay.  So, Jeff was off for a breeding adventure in Canada with our girl Gracie.  She's so pretty! You can gush over her too; I'll let you.

The stud and Gracie hit it off very well but, apparently, there were some ED issues.  The semen had to be collected manually (yes, I said manually, and yes, the picture in your brain is correct) and then placed into Gracie.  They did this three times.  Hopefully, I will be posting a picture of  cute puppies in two months time.

While Jeff was off having breeding fun, I got to go to my dermatologist.  Let me say that I am not fond of going to any doctor except for this one.  Well, actually he's not a doctor he is a PA but I digress.  The reason why I like this one is that he is Smoking Hot! (hmmmm, no echo that time)  Everything was going fine until Tim (yup we are on a first name basis) tells me that I have acne.  What?  I'm going to be 50.  Acne is the purview of middle school children, not well aged adults.  So, now I have acne medicine that I have to apply daily.  The only consolation is that this truly affirms that I am actually still 13. 

Now, it's time to get down to the good stuff, Knitting!  I actually did complete quite a bit of knitting during the Year From Hell (did you hear that echo?).  However, much of it I cannot share here as the items are heading into patterns and then into publication.  It's all very secretive and James Bond but without all the cool toys and glamourous people.  What I can say is that two of them involve colour work and one involves kilts.

I have also been trying to get back to spinning and processing the three fleeces that I have in my garage.  I am happy to say that I washed one.  Here it is in all of it's fluffiness.

This is corriedale fleece and comes from one of these.

It spins up like this.

The fleece has lots of greys, creams and a touch of dark brown.  I going to do a three ply with this so that I get a nice heathered look.  If it looks like crap, I'll just end up having a dye pot fun fest.


Speaking of fleece, I had best stop typing and get busy combing.

OMG! I'm Published!!

I'm pretty excited today for two wonderful reasons.  The first is that I'm getting over my third in a series of illnesses loving bestowed upon me by my seventh graders.  The second is that.......

I'm Published....In an actual book!!!!  Yesterday, Knit Picks released their first collection of knitting patterns in print and I have a pattern in it!  I know that many of you knitters out there have had your stuff published but this is my first and I'm pretty darned tickled.

The book is titled First Light: Spring 2013 Pattern Collection.

My contribution is the Alainnde Stole.
Here are a few pictures from the book. 

The Àlainnde Stole is a beautiful combination of two different lace styles – Shetland and Estonian. A cat’s paw framed by mock cables is incorporated into the border of the stole and is a nod to a Shetland lace pattern. The center panel looks to an Estonian lace pattern and is reminiscent of intricate latticework crowned by a beautiful spider stitch. 

This is a really nice pattern for the novice lace knitter.  The spider stitch and mock cables are just a series of knitting and yarn overs done in the same stitch several times.  On the wrong side, you just purl everything except the occasional double yarn overs.  When you get to them, just purl into the first and knit into the second.

Back at Work:(

It has been far too long since I posted anything on my blog.  This has mostly been due to a very hectic and sad summer.  Just a few days after my last post, my stepfather passed away.  Everyone knew that he didn't have long to live but it was still very sad.

My mother was a wreck.  She has been his care giver for several years and while not having to take care of my stepfather was a relief, it left a large hole in her life.

Well, the adventure began there.  I was on a plane to Albuquerque, NM, the day after school let out.  Both my mother and stepfather lived in Houston, TX, but Max wanted to be buried back in Albuquerque where we are all from.  First, I had to share a hotel room with my mother for a week....A WEEK!  Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and she only wanted to share the room because she didn't want to be alone but really, a whole week in the same room with your mom?

Of course, there was a ton of family drama.  Not from my family but from Max's.  I could go into it here but that would take forever.  Let's just say that I was shocked.

To top all of this off, I was mister nice guy on the plane down to Albuquerque and helped a woman get her stuff out of the overhead bin.  In removing her bags I strained my bicep tendon.  Now, I didn't realize this until the next day when my shoulder started killing me.  So, in the middle of all of the funeral drama, I ended up at urgent care being tortured by an evil doctor only to be told to take lots of ibuprofen.

Well, we got Max buried and I got myself and the family back to our respective homes and four days later, I was back on a plane for a series of conferences in Washington, DC.  This time, I was gone for 11 days.  Of course, I had to share a room with my good friend Karen and I was at these events with about a hundred teachers from Oregon.  Now, I'm a social person.  I like hanging out and having a good time.  However, after the funeral fiasco, I didn't need much more human interaction.  Really, all I wanted was to lock myself in my room with a dog or two and knit.

To add fuel to this fire, you also have to understand that I am not a fan of hot, humid environments which DC in the summer is.  On average the temperature was 97 with a heat index of 107.  It was vomit hot!  I just lived in air conditioning which is another thing that I'm not too fond of.

By the end of my stay in DC, it became apparent that I was getting a cold.  What fun, a summer cold!  Of course, my husband has filled my social calendar while I was gone.  Just what I wanted, more human interaction.  Actually, to be fair, he did give me an out but I was a trooper and made the appearances.

Now to add icing to the cake, we had a litter of puppies at the beginning of June.  Puppies are pretty easy the first four weeks because the dam takes care of them.  However, at four weeks, you have to start socializing them and cleaning up after them.  Ahhh, no rest of the weary.  I actually had dreams of coming downstairs to and inch of puppy urine covering the entire first floor.  ACK!

Well, the puppies went to their new homes in the middle of August (thank God) and, of course, we kept the show pick.  Her name is Libby and she is a little, black monster but I love her anyway.

Now, after all of this summer fun, it became time to go back to work.  Generally, I'm okay with going back to work.  I like teaching.  However, this year, my district cut 204 teaching positions.  This meant that my class sizes were going to go up.  Well, I wasn't prepared for what they became.  My largest class is 56, 7th graders.  My next largest is 50, 8th graders whom I see at the end of the day when they are the most bouncy.  My class sizes are F'n insane!  I'm just beat at the end of the day and it's only the beginning of week three.  I really don't know how I'm going to make it through this year and I'm actually looking at teaching overseas to escape this untenable situation.

That's pretty much the summer in a nutshell.  It wasn't fun or relaxing.  All I want to do now, is find a small village on an island in Scotland where I can live with my dogs and knit.

Speaking of knitting, I did accomplish a fair amount of knitting since this was my refuge from my summer in hell.

First, the big news.  I submitted a pattern proposal to Knit Picks for a book that they will be publishing in February and it was accepted.  I got the message while I was in DC and I started jumping up and down I was so excited.  My poor roommate thought something had bitten me and  that I was in pain.  Anyway, I can't say too much about it other than it's lace and it's beautiful.


Next, I joined a men's  knit-a-long for a pair of kilt hose.  This was my first attempt at a pair of socks.  I had always thought that socks were super hard but these were really straight forward.  I made them from my own hand spun, also a first.  Of course, not knowing about knitting socks, I followed the pattern exactly and they turned out a bit baggy.  The men more experienced in socks realized that the pattern needed some modifications like decreases at the ankle.  Anyway, I washed them in hot water and put them in dryer for a bit and, presto, they fit pretty darn good.





















The next finished item is my fair isle sweater.  I have to say that I am very tickled with the way this turned out.

While the colour choice and fair isle motif is from another designer, the sweater construction is all mine as well as the addition of shoulder straps and other fun details. 

 

 I really enjoyed coming up with this pattern.  As a matter of fact I enjoyed it so much that started another sweater with the same construction and I intend to publish the pattern.  Also, I'm thinking about creating a class on seamless fair isle sweater construction.  It's really not as bad as people think.  If they get a bit of an introduction, they will be more willing to tackle a project like a fair isle sweater.

Seven More Days Until Knitting Freedom!

YES!!  Only seven more days with my charming students.  I'm counting and I know that they are too.  Their brains are probably doing something along these lines, "Math homework or daydream about what I will be doing this summer...hmmmmm...Daydream!"  My brain is doing the exact same thing.  The daydreams that I have consist of all the knitting that I will be doing and all of the Mo Points that I will be accumulating towards being an excellent gay man.

I have already started down that path.  Sunday, I was in super Mo Point acquisition by channeling my inner Joan Crawford, "I'm not mad at you.  I'm mad at the dirt."  Yes, I was a cleaning machine, even to the point of getting a toothbrush to clean out the dirt from the corners.  I also have to say that my Hover carpet cleaner is a beautiful thing.  It always amazes me how much dirt lives in carpets.  ACK!  Anyway, it's always nice to have a clean house especially before you have a litter of puppies.

My girl Trudy is expected to have a litter of 9-11 puppies any day now.  I'm hoping  that it is nine as eleven is a lot.  Most of them are already sold to happy homes.  One puppy will be going home to twin girls on their birthday in August.  I want to be there when that puppy goes home.  It will be fun to see the kids' faces.  Actually, as I write this, Trudy is getting ready to whelp her litter.  Poor thing, she's so uncomfortable.  Her temperature has dropped and she is trying to find a place to deliver.  I haven't seen any big contractions yet; so, I think that we are still a few hours away from the big event.  Here is a picture of her super pregnant tummy.

I have also been very busy on the knitting front.  At long last, I finished a blanket for a coworker's baby.  It's only a year late.  Well, actually I think of it as being six months over due as they wouldn't have used it last summer.  Anyway, her son is a year old now and I'm sure he will still get a lot of use from it.  Here are a few pictures.  I knit it in the round and steeked it.  I am all about steeking.  It makes my knitting life really easy.

 My extreme fair isle sweater is almost done.  I have completed one sleeve and I'm about a fourth of the way through the other one.

I am very happy with the way the sleeve decreases turned out.  I hid them in the main colour of the pattern and left a stripe of contrasting colour between them.

This sweater has been a really good learning experience and has brought together various skills that I have learned making other seamless sweaters.  It has actually motivated me to make another and, this time, write down the pattern.  Maybe I'll start a men's seamless sweater revolution.