Pumpkin Plants Drive Me Nuts and More Loser Mo vs. Barbara Walker

Well, the weather here in my beloved Pacific Northwest is still just amazing.  We have been having highs in the low 80s and our night time temperatures are in the high 50s (that's 28 and 14 to all of you metric people).  Now, because of this fabulous weather, my garden is going crazy.  (By the way, did you notice that I used the word "fabulous"?  I RARELY use the F word, mostly because I'm a loser mo but also because most mos use it WAY to much.  You just can't have that much fabulousness in the world.)

On with the show.  Here are a few images of the craziness in my back yard.

This is my tomato and pumpkin jungle.  It's hard to tell by the picture but these tomato plants come up to my nose.  Now, to put this into perspective, I'm 5', 11".  These guys are so big and so loaded with fruit that they are bending and breaking the tomato cages.  Also, please note the giant green leaves at the bottom of the picture.  These are my pumpkin plants.  More on them in a bit.

Look at these crazy plants.  They are insane.  It's going to be a huge pain when all the fruit sets.  I'll have to pick them all and can/freeze them.  However, there is nothing like a vine ripened tomato.

Okay, now on to the pumpkin issue.  Last year, I decided that I was going to make pumpkin pie from scratch.

Looks good doesn't it.  You know you are totally craving some now.  YUM!

Now my goal was very different from getting the can of Libby's and making a pie.  I do that every year.  What I had in mind was to go out and get the pumpkin, carve it up and turn it into a pie.  I mean how totally New England Thanksgiving is that.  I was so channeling our Pilgrim settlers until I discovered that they didn't make pumpkin pie.  They actually took the pumpkins and filled them with cream and sugar and the baked them in the embers of the fire.  Sounds kinda nasty doesn't it.  Well, I guess all good things have humble beginnings.  So, after I discovered that factoid, I decided that I would channel Martha Stewart because she would Totally make a pie from a whole pumpkin.

Actually, the process isn't too bad.  All you have to do is cut open the pumpkin, clean out the seeds and roast it until it's soft.

See, wasn't that super easy!

This is what you would do with any other squash; although, I really don't like squash.  It has a really nasty texture and then people always cook it with butter and brown sugar.  So, if you have to make a dessert out of it to get people to eat it as a side dish, then you shouldn't cook it at all.  Eat a real vegetable like a Brussels Sprout.  Sorry...digressing again.

When the pumpkin is soft, let it cool and then scrape the flesh into your food processor and give it a whirl until it's nice and smooth.  You are now at the "what you get from the Libby's can" stage.

So, simple enough you say?  Well, too true; however, you can't use just any pumpkin.  You have to find one that is grown for baking.  Those lovely huge jack o'lanterns are for crap when making pies.  The reason being is that they are grown for carving and not for flesh.  Therefore, they make really stringy non-tasty pies.  Who would have thought???

Anyway, after much research, I settled on this pumpkin.

This is actually called a Cinderella Pumpkin.  It's the pumpkin that they modeled Cinderella's carriage after.  Of course, it's original name is Rouge Vif d'Etampes.  I think that it translates to red stamp but my French is not the best.  But who cares; it's an amazing pumpkin.  The one that I had made five pies.  AND....they were the best F'n pies EVER.  That's right Martha!  My pumpkin made FIVE pies that were better than any of your pies.  Take that!!!!  I totally want to take Martha on and show her what a real loser mo can do.  Ooops, digressing again.

Well, thanks to this great pie experience, I decided that I would grow my own Cinderella Pumpkins this summer.  They must be a pretty popular pumpkin because I didn't have to order the seeds from a seed company.  I found them on the seed rack at my grocery store.  Lucky me!

Now, why do they drive me nuts you ask?  Let me tell you.  It appears, that somewhere along the evolutionary track, pumpkins decided that they wanted to have two very different flowers; a boy flower and a girl flower.  Yup, two different flowers on the same plant.  Okay, so really, no big deal; the boy flowers pollinate the girl flowers and you get pumpkins.  Oh, but if it were that easy.

Let me tell you what's really going on from the gay guy perspective.  You see, pumpkins produce a ton of boy flowers and very few girl flowers.  Everyday I go out to the garden and I'll have ten or more boy flowers and not one girl flower.  What the hell?  Why can't they just be like the tomato, one flower equals one tomato.  It's really crazy making.  For this entire season, I have only four pumpkins from five plants.  Ugggh!  How am I supposed to be a good mo and make 8,000 pumpkin pies from my own home, grown pumpkins that can feed all of Christ's soldiers if I can't get enough pumpkins!  AHHHHH!

Damn, I hate it when I go down that scary path.

Okay, back to the gay guy perspective.  The other morning, I was out in the garden lamenting the lack of pumpkins when it dawned on me what they are doing.  (This is really amazing1)  Pumpkins are really just replicating the population at a straight bar.  That's right; pumpkin patches are really the straight bars of the plant world.  Here is my thinking.  At straight bars, there are always way too many guys and not enough available women.  So, what do straight guys do?  They go to another bar where, again, there are way to many men and not enough available women.  If a guy is lucky, he actually meets and girl and they strike up some sort of relationship, e.g., too many boy flowers and not enough girl flowers.

This is my pumpkin patch, five straight bars with with too many men, not enough women and only four viable relationships out of the whole evening.  Damn, I almost feel sad for straight guys, only, I wish they would stay the hell out of my pumpkin patch.

Okay, enough about my garden woes and on to my throw down with Ms. Walker.

Now, I was going in order; however, I seemed to have had a bit too much wine one night and got mixed up as to what page I was on.  So, we are going to jump ahead a few pages to page 15.  (Don't worry; I'll go back to the missed samples.)

Okay, page 15, same sport weight Baby Ull on US 3.

Here we have the Waving Rib Pattern and Quaker Ridging.

The bottom section is the Waving Rib Pattern (I still cant figure out what they are waving about) and the top section is Quaker Ridge.  Oh and yes, those ARE the most adorable poodle salt and pepper shakers.  They were helping out with all of their cuteness.  Actually, I have them there to hold down the edge.  I didn't want to block this sample because it's easier to see how textured knitting can really affect your gauge/tension.

For this sample, I cast on 46 stitches.  The stitch count stayed the same.  As you can see, just a simple combination of knits and purls can really tighten up your fabric.  Just so you know, I am a very loose knitter; so, for the tight knitter, this can be a huge issue.  REMEMBER, always do a gauge swatch, and YES, I know that it is a total pain.  Just do it, damn it!

Okay, now to the merits of the patterns themselves.  First up, Quaker Ridge....mehh, why bother.  It's super boring.  While you will see lots of ridges in gansey knitting, they are always a border to a more interesting pattern.  This is just bumpy lines in my opinion.  Again, mehh...

Second:  I actually like the Waving Rib pattern; although, I would give it a very different name.  What I like most about it, is that it is totally reversible.  Look at the back side!

Isn't that the coolest basket weave pattern.  I'm having visions of a reversible cardigan here.  Think about it.  This pattern makes a nice dense fabric that is really awesome on both sides.  You can't get better than that.

 This one is definitely a keeper.  I have a ton of bamboo, merino yarn that might be begging for this as its pattern.

Well, what do you think about his pattern?  Wish me luck with my pumpkins. 

Barbara Walker and being a Loser Mo in Santa Fe

My birthday present this year is a trip to Santa Fe, NM, to see opera and visit my home state.  Why such a nice present you ask?  Well, it's one of those years that mark a certain point in life.  I prefer to think that it didn't happen; so, we will just say that I'm still 39.  However, Santa Fe is definitely happening.

I had forgotten about the Super Mos here in this city.  Wow!  They wear perfect blazers with crisp pressed shirts and pants and VERY expensive Italian shoes, while sipping cocktails and talking about some one's nice home but how it "tragically" has no view.  OMG!  I don't know how many Mo points I need to catch up to these guys.  What I can say, is that I was wearing VERY expensive Italian shoes that I actually bought in Florence.  You have to have some street credentials here in Santa Fe.

The operas have been great.  We saw La Traviata first.  Of course, this opera brings out ALL the Mos.  If you don't know it, Violetta represents the gay man's biggest dilemma, whether to fall in love or party and fornicate forever.  Truly, this is such a struggle for us Mos.  Speaking of Mos, here we are at the opera.  I'm the cute one with the sexy smirk on his face.

This is the view from our seats.  This was the set for La Traviata.  Yes, it's very minimalist but it worked.  My friend Pat wouldn't have cared for this set.  She's old school.  If there isn't a velvet chair and a chandelier, it's just not Traviata for her.

The second opera was The Grand Duchess of Gerolstein.  It was a very cute operetta.  I highly recommend it if you want something light.  For you beer fans, you might think of it as the Hefferveisen of opera.  Unfiltered, fun but not appropriate for all seasons.

Last night we saw Rossini's La Donna Del Lago.  This is a rarely performed opera but it seems to be making a comeback.  It was the BOMB although the first act drags a bit.  It takes place in Scotland during some war between the clans and the king.  Of course, there is a beautiful maiden that the whole story revolves around and she ends up saving the day.  Don't get you hopes up for opera and bagpipes; it's not happening here.

Opera isn't the only thing we have done.  We have been hiking and site seeing.

 

 This is Chimney Rock at Ghost Ranch New Mexico.  The base of the trail is at 6500 ft.  You hike about one and a half miles and you end up here.....

 ...at 7000 feet and with some incredible views.  Now, when you come from 600 feet and try to hike at 7000 feet, you suddenly feel very, very out of shape.

This is the Sanctuary of Chimayo about an hour outside of Santa Fe.  If you are not familiar with this church, I will tell you about it.  There are many stories about the miracle that led to the building of the Santuario. The most common tells of a villager named Bernardo de Abeyta, who was a Penitente, the brotherhood that kept the Catholic faith alive in New Mexico when priests were few. On Good Friday, in 1810 or 1811, Abeyta was performing the rituals of penance when he saw a light bursting forth from a nearby hillside. Upon digging at the source of the light, he found a large crucifix, which he called the Miraculous Crucifix of Our Lord of Esquipulas
Bernardo de Abeyta and other Chimayo villagers formed a procession to carry the crucifix to the nearest church, 8 miles away in Santa Cruz. But the next day the crucifix was missing from the altar, to be found back in its original place in the hills of Chimayo. The procession was repeated two more times before it became clear that el Señor de Esquipulas wanted to remain in Chimayo, thus prompting the building of the original small chapel on that site. Then the miraculous healings began, growing so numerous that the chapel had to be replaced by the larger adobe mission which is the current Chimayo shrine. Named el Santuario de Nuestro Señor de Esquipulas, the shrine was finished in 1816, and is now commonly known as el Santuario de Chimayo.  
In a small room next to the chapel is the well of Holy Dirt.  Yes, I said Holy Dirt.  There are many miracles that have happened attributed to the Holy Dirt.  People leave their crutches there as well as testimonies about miracle cures.  It's a very powerful place.  Anyway, being a good Catholic boy I got some of the dirt to bring back home.

Now, being that New Mexico is such a large and very sparsely populated state, I bought along my knitting for the long drives between destinations.  I decided that I would continue on with my Barbara Walker throw down.  So here we are on page 11. Same drill as last time, US 3 with what I believe is a sport weight.  Also, my sample is backwards from Ms. Walker's.  The bottom is Seed Stitch; the middle is Moss Stitch and the top is Double Seed Stitch.

I'm a HUGE fan of textured knitting.  I like it almost as much as stranded knitting.  The big thing for me here is that I like to knit sweaters and I really like ganseys.  Traditional ganseys are made of  many different combinations of knit and purl stitches and maybe an occasional cable thrown in for fun.  While I like all of this three stitches, I'm least fond of Seed Stitch.  It doesn't do much for me. OH!  Sorry, I'm at a hotel and I didn't want to iron anything so none of these is blocked.

 

Okay, turning to page 12, we have Sand Stitch, Dot Stitch or Spot Stitch, Broken Rib and Double Broken Rib.

So, I was really lazy on this one.  Sand Stitch's pattern shows up on the even side rows, which to most of us, is the wrong side.  That is why I am showing you the wrong side of the work.  The bottom section is Sand Stitch.  I have to say that I really don't like it.  It just looks like really messy knitting on the wrong side to me.

Now, the reverse side of Sand Stitch is Dot Stitch.

It's the bottom section again.  I really like this one.  It has lots of different effects.  One that I really like, that you can just see on the far left, is that it has the illusion of little diamond shapes.  I can definitely see myself using this on a gansey.  NOTE, if you do this pattern, keep track of where you leave off.  I forgot what row I was on several times and had to rip back a few rows to fix things again.

Now the next two are Broken Rib (middle section) and Double Broken Rib (top section).  I like both of these quite a bit.  My favourite of  the two is Broken Rib.  I have used this on a gansey and it looks really good over large areas and sleeves.  In one of my gansey books, the Broken Rib is called Moss Variant and Double Broken Rib is called Betty Martin Pattern.  Who knew Ms. Martin was so famous?  Okay, enough for now as I have a plane to catch to get me back to my beloved Pacific Northwest.

Loser Mo vs Barbara Walker

Life has been pretty calm here in the Pacific Northwest.  I actually haven't been tortured by freakish, little, old ladies of late.  Also, on a good note, I haven't done anything that would take away my points towards becoming an awesome mo.  In fact, I may have added points because I made apricot jam the other day and I'll be doing blueberry today.

Anyway, lets get down to the issue at hand.  I (yes, loser mo Buck Strong) have decided to take on Barbara Walker.  (That's right girl; you and I are going down on the mat!)

It all started the other day when I was contemplating what type of stitch I wanted to use for a cardigan that was floating through my mind.  Yes, I have visions of sweaters.  Hmmm...I wonder if that makes me a knitting saint or something.  Ooops, digressing again.  So, the cardigan vision needs a stitch pattern.  I quickly grab my three volumes of Ms. Walker's "A Treasury of Knitting Patterns" to see what strikes my fancy.  I'm sure this is what most people would do.  However, there are a couple of problems with picking a pattern from her books.  First, there is way too much material and it can be a bit overwhelming.  Second, and in my opinion the most troublesome, the pictures really, really suck.

I was like three or so when the first book was published and it seems like the pictures haven't been updated through any of the subsequent printings.  I almost feel as though I'm looking a knitting patterns from an episode of Dark Shadows but without all the fun.

Now, this is the point where my brain got involved.  It popped up and said, "Hey, Loser Mo, why don't you knit up those samples and take better pictures?"  Then I replied, "Uggh, Brain, please."  However, my brain kept nagging me and I found that I had to relent.  It's actually, an interesting adventure.  I'm going to knit up the patterns from Barbara's first book and chronicle my findings here.
(Should I be cursing my brain now?)

Let's start.  This is from page 10.  It was knit on US 3 and the yarn is some left over Baby Ull that I had lying around.  I don't have the label but I think that it's sport weight.

This is the sample before I blocked it.  I did a garter stitch border to help with the curling.  The swatch is the reverse of the picture in her book.  The bottom band is plain Stockinette Stitch.  The next band is Crossed Stockinette Stitch, then Twisted Stockinette Stitch and lastly Garter Stitch.

We all have had experience with plain Stockinette and Garter; so, I'll not comment.

Out of the four stitch patterns I found that I liked the Twisted Stockinette the best.  It has nice texture and is not at all complicated.  I think that with a thicker yarn, it would be fab.

Now, to the Twisted Stockinette, can  just say, "Why bother."  In my opinion, this is a total pain in the butt stitch ("PITBS") mostly due to the fact that you have to purl through the back loop.  I have only ever encountered purling thorough the back loop in knitted lace.  It's a pain then but to have to do it for every stitch is agony.

If you are not familiar with this stitch, let me show you.

First, you have to insert the needle through the back loop from left to right.  Giant pain already because you have twisted the stitch on the right side of the work, PITBS.  I found that I had to pull down on the material to make a space to get the needle into the stitch.  I also wished I had used my lace points.  Yes, that is a gin and tonic in the background.  I needed it to get through all of the back-loop purling, PITBS.

Once you have wrangled that needle in through the back loop, you can wrap your yarn around and purl.  Now, I'm a Continental knitter; this may be easier for someone who knits English but I doubt it, PITBS. (Notice that the gin is still back there.

Here is the sample blocked.  (Well, not really blocked, I just ran over it with a steam iron.)  The Twisted Stockinette still leans to the left.  I'm thinking that a hard wet block would straighten things out but I still think the pattern is way too much work for very little product.  However, if you like gin and tonic, you may want to pursue this stitch pattern for your sweater visions.

First sample down...Yeah!

Fiber vs Gym

The weather here in Portland has been absolutely amazing.  Of course, this is why we put up the wet winters.  Currently, we are having perfect blue skies with temperatures in the upper 70s and a lovely breeze coming in off the Pacific.  I mean really, this is one of the most beautiful places to live.

While I did not take this photo, this is exactly what it is like now.  Isn't Mt. St. Helens pretty? I consider this to be our volcano and not Washington's.  They can have Mt. Rainier but St. Helens is ours.  Anyway, it's during these beautiful times that the universe likes to poke a little fun at you.

This is what the has been put in front of me to shake up my day.

They look sweet don't they.  Look at them, all smiles and such.  You can almost see them going home and baking you cookies can't you.   Don't Buy Into It!  Trust me; little, old ladies at the gym are a whole different type of creature.  Really, I'm just as surprised as you but I wouldn't lie about this.  I would have never thought them to be so awful but I have witnessed it first hand.  Here, let me try to explain.

I have been a very good boy in that I have made it to the gym each day of summer break.  Not just going there and hanging out, I mean actually going there and working out, sweating, panting.  Yup, I'm buffing up.  Anyway, this past week, I was starting off my workout with pushups.  I love pushups.  Seriously, they are such a great exercise and you feel so manly after doing a bunch of them.  I especially love it when some other guy thinks he can do them better than me and then poops out after ten.  Oops, digressing again.  Stay on topic...Stay on topic...  So, at my gym there is a big open area where people stretch, do pushups, situps, etc.  That's where I'm at and I'm on about pushup 12 or so when the old ladies next to me start talking VERY loudly about their dermatological issues.  It went something like this.
"You know those skin flaps that you get?  You know, the kind that bleed when you scratch them off."
"Oh, yeah.  They are called skin tags."
"Yeah, that's it.  Well, I have them on the inside of my thighs.  But these don't scratch off."
"Maybe you should see your doctor."
"Yeah."
"Remember that time that I had all those warts on my foot.  It was so amazing when they got rid of the big one on my heel, all the baby ones went away."

I hope you didn't just throw up in your mouth like I did.  It was far worse than what I wrote here because it went on and on.  Who knew that you could have so many gross things go wrong with your skin.  Now, imagine that you are trying to be a good, healthy person exercising up a storm and you have to listen to that.  Really, doing pushups while retching is not pleasant nor is it a skill that I would like to hone for later use in life.  Also, I don't see it as something that would increase my earning potential.  ACK!

At this point, you have to agree with me that only universe, with a sense of humour,  would put cute grandmas in my midst, the kind that might be enamoured with my knitting skills, and have them turn out to be sadistic, hags out to make decent people vomit whilst exercising.  Seriously, this is the kind of stuff that an older sibling does to the younger ones.  I guess the one silver lining here is that the conversation didn't end up with them discussing their gynecological problems.  Shudder!

Well, after that horrifying event, I had to go home and work on some sort of fiber related task.  It's just amazing how spinning wool into yarn can calm a grown man's stomach. 

As I remember from my last post, I promised to show some knitting fun.  While several of my projects are still very secret, this one is not.

This is my latest sweater fun.  Ain't it Purty?  I'm really getting into stranded/fair isle knitting and especially sweaters.  This was done all in one piece.  There is not one of those EVIL seams in this bad boy.  God, I hate piece work and seaming.  Knitting is NOT tailoring!  Oops....sorry, soapbox slipped in there.

 

It is bottom up construction knit in the round.  It has gussets under the arms.  You can see the gusset pattern here.  It doesn't stand out as well as I would like but it's still pretty cool.

Of course, with stranded knitting you need steeks!  I love steeks.  I really don't see what people have against them.  They are one of the most useful knitting techniques around.   So don't be afraid world, steek away!!!

 

 

I joined the front and back with a shoulder strap knit at a right angle to the body.  I have done this on all of my sweaters to date.  I really like the look, kinda sexy.  The shoulder strap pattern was continued down the arm adding even more sexiness.  Yes, I tingle all over when I think about sexy knitting.

 

Since the sleeves are worked from the shoulder down, I hid the sleeve decreases in the contrasting colour for a bit of subtle sexiness....

 ...and then topped it all off with a nifty pattern in the cuff and collar.

I'm very happy with the way this guy turned out.  I'm actually writing up the pattern and should have it out in a few days. 

Well, that's about it for this post.  Jeff's birthday is tomorrow and I have a ton of things planned.  Should be a lot of fun.  I'll give you a little preview.  I'm baking him lemon blueberry sweet rolls in the morning.  I just finished the dough and it's resting in the fridge. 

Until next time.

The 4th of Fun and Fiber

Well, the Fourth of July has come and gone.  It's actually not one of my favourite  holidays.  However, we have FAB neighbours and we do almost all of our holidays together, including the Fourth.

As usual, we all got together for a big meal.  My responsibility was the procurement of burgers and baked beans.  Notice that I said "my responsibility." My partner Jeff doesn't like to be bothered with such things.  However, to his credit he always will help if I need it.

Anyway, coming from a southern family, I learned that when you cook, you don't cook for a few, you cook for many.  Now I'm deadly serious here.  In my family, you make food in batches large enough to feed all of Christ's soldiers and then have enough left overs for the Second Coming.

For example, my Aunt Mimi's, (pronounced Mem-ee, it's a Louisiana thing) gumbo recipe calls for a bunch of celery.  Now, in a normal world, you would think that this would mean a few of these, maybe four or five.

 

Not in our family.  When we say add a bunch of celery we mean one of these.

That's right!  You add the whole damn thing including the leaves.  Oh, and it also calls for 14 cups of stock.  Seriously, how can you possibly show your face at a Knights of Columbus dinner with a dish that only serves six.  You'll be lucky if they let you in the door on bingo night.

Anyway, this is the approach that I also use in cooking.  I can't help it.  Here is the Vat O'Beans that debuted on the 4th.

Of course, in the greatest tradition of Southern Cooking, I made these beans with this.

That's right baby, BACON.  Render the fat from these bad boys first, then saute your onion in the drippings.  YUM.  The bacon is then placed on top of the beans when you put them in the oven.  This particular batch used almost a pound of thick cut bacon and filled an 9"x15" baking dish.  Yes, I actually own a baking dish that big.  It's also 3" tall.  I love this dish.  Seriously.

I also thought I would try my hand at some of these.

Our neighbours LOVE deviled eggs.  Which is great, because we love them too.  Actually, I think that they are a total pain in the butt to put together.  However, being a good mo, I thought I would step out of the norm and do something a little different.  I dyed the eggs in beet juice and kicked up the filling by adding wasabi.  Then, the finishing touch was to add a sprinkle of hot, smoked paprika.  I'm calling them Red Devil Deviled Eggs.  They were the bomb.

So, what was Jeff doing while I was busy in the kitchen?  Why, he was enjoying his Holiday.  See....

Yup there he is relaxing with our two show girls.  The one on the couch is Libby and the one on the floor is Goldie.  They have REALLY big hair, poor things.  However, you know what they say, "The taller the hair, the closer to God."  My girls are pretty tight with the G dude thanks to that big hair.

The 4th wasn't all cooking and watching my partner relax; it also had a good amount of fiber fun thrown in.

I'm still working on those three fleeces of mine.  So, I decided it was time to do some combing while the beans baked.  Here is the Tub O'Wool before I started.

It was a beautiful day here; so, I decided to comb the wool outside on my deck.  Here I have the comb all loaded up.

Looks kinda nasty doesn't it.  Oh, and sorry for the white trash bit with my rugs hanging on the railing in the background.  Really, I don't leave rugs out in my yard.  I was truly just airing them out that day.

Here is the wool after the first pass with the comb.

Second pass...

Third pass...

Pulling it into roving...

Okay, now this is really white trash.  I am actually using the top to a milk jug for a diz.   It's actually the best one that I have.  I almost cried when I thought I had lost it.

And, here it is all ready for the spinning wheel.

Here is my afternoon's take.

Oh, please note that the rugs are no longer there.  I think they got moved in early because Jeff woke up, saw them and made disparaging comments about living in a trailer court.

Now, on the left are all the nasty bits that you get after you comb your wool.  Most people throw this away.  I'm too cheap to do that.  Plus it seems to be such a waste.  I actually go back and spin the nasty bits.

Here is a hank of some merino spun up from the nasty parts.

It's a bit nubby and bumpy but it's super soft.  I got three hanks of the stuff.  When I finish with that fleece, I might have enough of the nasty bits yarn to make a blanket.  I kinda like that "Nasty Bits Yarn."  Sounds scandalous, just the thing to have my mother call to remind me to go to confession.  What is it with Catholic moms and confession?  Oops, ignore me.  I'm digressing into the tortures of my Catholic childhood.

Oh, and here is the Tub O'Wool after all that combing.

 See, I made lots of progress, right?  Sigh....

Well, I'm thinking it's time for me to hit the gym.  I'm almost done with pattern writing; so, I'll definitely have some knitting to show next time.

Not only a Loser Mo but also a Loser Blogger.

Well, it does seem like it has been for ever since I have chronicled my knitting adventures.  However, I really do have a good excuse.  The excuse is this; last school year was a awful.  I don't want to get into all of the icky stuff, but the short version is that my school district cut 395 teaching positions.  This raised my student load to 267.  I actually had a class of 56 seventh graders.  Okay, I may be exaggerating just a bit.  It was actually 53.  I had three of them move during the year.  So, maybe I'm a whiner.  You know, I just want to say again that I had 53 seventh graders.  Maybe I'm not a whiner but really a saint, Saint Geoff.  Only a saint would be able to teach that many seventh graders all year without killing them or him/herself or possibly both.

Enough of that, the school has been put to bed and I'm on BREAK!  Yeah!!!

Actually, a lot has happened since June 14.  This was my last day of work from the Year From Hell (you know, in my brain, when I just typed that, it was a loud, booming voice that echoed).  On that same day, my mother arrived for my nephew's graduation from college.  My sister was already here along with her partner, Keith.  In a way, it was like going from one Hell to another Hell (hmmm, still got that booming, echoing thing in the brain going on).

Here is a lovely picture of my nephew and a not ,so lovely picture of me and my partner, Jeff.  Doesn't my arm look all weird and bent.  What's up with that?  It kinda looks like I'm getting ready to take off.

Alex (I call him goober)  worked very, very hard and earned a B.S. in Electrical Engineering and he is making a shit-ton of money at the age of 24.  This is good, because as I age, I want him to invest in retirement property that I can live in for him.  I'm hoping he will buy one somewhere in Scotland.  However, he could twist my arm into caring for a home in Italy, France, Sweden or Spain.  It would be rough but I think I could manage. 

My mom actually had a really good time.  I have to say that I got a bit sad when she left.  I walked into the guest room and it still smelled like her.  My mom doesn't wear perfume but she has stuck with the same soap, lotion and shampoo for years.  They all add up to mom smell and it makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Well, the family is once again spread out across the country and Jeff and I are at home with our herd of poodles.  Oh, one fun thing that happened during the family visit/graduation was that four of our girls went into season, at the same time.  Dealing with one is bad enough but four put me over the edge.  OMG!  They were humping each other constantly.  I finally just put them out in the yard and let them hump each other to exhaustion.  Hell, I was exhausted just watching it.

Jeff, of course wanted to breed one of them and, of course, I caved and said okay.  So, Jeff was off for a breeding adventure in Canada with our girl Gracie.  She's so pretty! You can gush over her too; I'll let you.

The stud and Gracie hit it off very well but, apparently, there were some ED issues.  The semen had to be collected manually (yes, I said manually, and yes, the picture in your brain is correct) and then placed into Gracie.  They did this three times.  Hopefully, I will be posting a picture of  cute puppies in two months time.

While Jeff was off having breeding fun, I got to go to my dermatologist.  Let me say that I am not fond of going to any doctor except for this one.  Well, actually he's not a doctor he is a PA but I digress.  The reason why I like this one is that he is Smoking Hot! (hmmmm, no echo that time)  Everything was going fine until Tim (yup we are on a first name basis) tells me that I have acne.  What?  I'm going to be 50.  Acne is the purview of middle school children, not well aged adults.  So, now I have acne medicine that I have to apply daily.  The only consolation is that this truly affirms that I am actually still 13. 

Now, it's time to get down to the good stuff, Knitting!  I actually did complete quite a bit of knitting during the Year From Hell (did you hear that echo?).  However, much of it I cannot share here as the items are heading into patterns and then into publication.  It's all very secretive and James Bond but without all the cool toys and glamourous people.  What I can say is that two of them involve colour work and one involves kilts.

I have also been trying to get back to spinning and processing the three fleeces that I have in my garage.  I am happy to say that I washed one.  Here it is in all of it's fluffiness.

This is corriedale fleece and comes from one of these.

It spins up like this.

The fleece has lots of greys, creams and a touch of dark brown.  I going to do a three ply with this so that I get a nice heathered look.  If it looks like crap, I'll just end up having a dye pot fun fest.


Speaking of fleece, I had best stop typing and get busy combing.

OMG! I'm Published!!

I'm pretty excited today for two wonderful reasons.  The first is that I'm getting over my third in a series of illnesses loving bestowed upon me by my seventh graders.  The second is that.......

I'm Published....In an actual book!!!!  Yesterday, Knit Picks released their first collection of knitting patterns in print and I have a pattern in it!  I know that many of you knitters out there have had your stuff published but this is my first and I'm pretty darned tickled.

The book is titled First Light: Spring 2013 Pattern Collection.

My contribution is the Alainnde Stole.
Here are a few pictures from the book. 

The Àlainnde Stole is a beautiful combination of two different lace styles – Shetland and Estonian. A cat’s paw framed by mock cables is incorporated into the border of the stole and is a nod to a Shetland lace pattern. The center panel looks to an Estonian lace pattern and is reminiscent of intricate latticework crowned by a beautiful spider stitch. 

This is a really nice pattern for the novice lace knitter.  The spider stitch and mock cables are just a series of knitting and yarn overs done in the same stitch several times.  On the wrong side, you just purl everything except the occasional double yarn overs.  When you get to them, just purl into the first and knit into the second.